38 interesting things that you
learn about computers in the movies....
- Word processors never display a cursor.
- You never have to use the space-bar when typing
long sentences.
- All monitors display 2 inch high letters.
- High-tech computers, such as those used by
NASA, the CIA, or some such governmental institution, have easy-to-understand
graphical interfaces.
- Those that don't will have incredibly powerful
text-based command shells that can correctly understand and execute commands
typed in plain English.
- Corollary: You can gain access to any
information you want by simply typing "ACCESS ALL OF THE SECRET
FILES" on any keyboard.
- Likewise, you can infect a computer with a
destructive virus by simply typing "UPLOAD VIRUS." Viruses cause
temperatures in computers, just like they do in humans. After a while, smoke
billows out of disk drives and monitors.
- All computers are connected. You can access the
information on the villain's desktop computer, even if it's turned off.
- Powerful computers beep whenever you press a
key or whenever the screen changes. Some computers also slow down the output on
the screen so that it doesn't go faster than you can read. The *really*
advanced ones also emulate the sound of a dot-matrix printer as the characters
come across the screen.
- All computer panels have thousands of volts and
flash pots just underneath the surface. Malfunctions are indicated by a bright
flash, a puff of smoke, a shower of sparks, and an explosion that forces you
backward.
- People typing away on a computer will turn it
off without saving the data.
- A hacker can get into the most sensitive
computer in the world before intermission and guess the secret password in two
tries.
- Any PERMISSION DENIED has an OVERRIDE function.
- Complex calculations and loading of huge
amounts of data will be accomplished in under three seconds. In the movies,
modems transmit data at two gigabytes per second.
- When the power plant - missile site - whatever
- overheats, all the control panels will explode, as will the entire building.
- The more high-tech the equipment, the more
buttons it has. However, everyone must have been highly trained, because the
buttons aren't labelled.
- Whenever a character looks at a monitor, the
image is so bright that it projects itself onto his/her face.
- High tech equipment is often driven by a
computer with a DOS prompt. (re: RoboCop)
- High tech companies don't do offsite backups
of the data (re: Terminator 2)
- All media devices are readily available - ie
If someone hands you a DAT tape with important data on it your PC will have a
DAT drive.
- No matter what you ask a computer to do it
will respond with a percentage complete bargraph - especially when searching
for data it can accurately give you the time remaining until it finds that
data.
- Data searching will always involve displaying
all the searched data on the screen until a match is found - this is true of
text and graphics such as fingerprints.
- Telephone calls can be easily redirected
through places all over the world, and upon a trace a globe will be displayed
complete with lines travelling between each place.
- Deleting of data always takes just a little
less time than it takes the bad guys to knock down the door.
- All technology is plug and play - every
computer can have any piece of technology attached.
- High tech graphical interfaces are often
driven by hundreds of keystrokes which do not appear anywhere on the screen.
- IP addresses automatically supply the feds
(FBI) with the physical address (ie log on and they know where you are!)
- You never have to use the spacebar when typing
long sentences. Just keep hitting the keys without stopping
- Those that don't will have incredibly powerful
text-based command shells that can correctly understand and execute commands
typed in plain English.
- If you display a file on the screen and
someone deletes the file, it also disappears from the screen. There are no ways
to copy a backup file -- and there are no undelete utilities.
- If a disk has encrypted files, you are
automatically asked for a password when you try to access it.
- No matter what kind of computer disk it is,
it'll be readable by any system you put it into. All application software is
usable by all computer platforms.
- Most computers, no matter how small, have
reality-defying three-dimensional, real-time, photo-realistic animated graphics
capability.
- Laptops, for some strange reason, always seem
to have amazing real-time video phone capabilities and the performance of a
CRAY-MP. (supercomputer)
- Whenever a character looks at a VDU, the image
is so bright that it projects itself onto his/her face.
- Computers never crash during key,
high-intensity activities. Humans operating computers never make mistakes under
stress.
- Programs are fiendishly perfect and never have
bugs that slow down users.
- Any photograph can have minute details pulled
out of it. You can zoom into any picture as far as you want to.
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